And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
