So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
