I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just threw up on my dentist
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
