If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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