So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
