Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
