it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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