My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize