If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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