so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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