saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
