i wish starbucks made bloody marys
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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