i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
