So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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