Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
