i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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