i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
