i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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