sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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