every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Randomize