The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
BRING THE BAGELS
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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