He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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