i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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