in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
