Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
No subtext here. People are naked.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
