I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
