I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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