I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
