I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
My vagina just clenched in fear
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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