Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Is it penis luge time yet?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
