She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
