I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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