So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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