"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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