Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm at about main and main street
being pregnant is like rehab
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
