Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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