Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Randomize
