Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Randomize
