he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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