I want to stick my p in your. b.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
he laminated a picture of his dick.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
