I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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