i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
