Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
