I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
you inspire me to be a worse person
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
