i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I feel like abortions should bother me more
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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