Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
