the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Let's get the cat blown out
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
