Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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