Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
