a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
