69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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