i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
My underwear smells like fireworks.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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