pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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