He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
