I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
