Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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