The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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