I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
