WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize