There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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