Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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